Therefore He says: “Awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

—Ephesians 5:14–16

In Ephesians 5, Paul tells us to awake from spiritual lethargy. I want to apply these verses specifically to marriage today. 

You can’t sleepwalk through marriage. Show me a marriage that is strong and vibrant and thriving, and I will show you a marriage that people are giving attention to. 

It’s sort of like making a fire. You begin with some kindling and newspaper and twigs, and then add some logs to it. Once the fire is going, you put another log on it. And another. You continue to feed it over time. In the same way, if a marriage is strong, especially over a period of time, it is because the husband and wife keep putting logs on the fire. They cultivate their romance. They strengthen the marriage.

If you stop feeding the fire, it will start to weaken. You must constantly give it attention. You must be proactive, not merely reactive. When the husband neglects his role and the wife neglects hers, one problem turns into another, and soon it gets worse and worse. Eventually it reaches a state of crisis. 

It’s best to engage in “preventative maintenance” and strengthen the marriage every day. Verses 15 and 16 tell us how: by “walking circumspectly” and “redeeming the time.” To “walk circumspectly” conveys the idea of looking, examining, and investigating something with great care. It’s like the attention you would give to the words of a contract before signing it. “Redeeming the time” refers to making the most of every opportunity. 

Are you examining your marriage carefully, paying attention to detail? Are you taking advantage of every opportunity to strengthen your marriage? Are you making sure you have done everything you can do?